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me: i wish we could go back but we can't. never. i wish i wish i wish you don't know how much i wish.
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Seldrima: hello every1
Alchemina: Nice journal. :)
Kat: *pets*
charchar: waz up ppl?
Fenix: woah! more tags finally! i gotta come more often now ;)
celeste: HI
Will: *looks around*... ahem... interesting... hope everything is good!
Kat: Hello my friend!
Pyra: *wanders in here by chance again* eh *blinks* Hi?
Katsu: Alright let's whip this thing back to life. Who's with me? *posts pointless entry*
Fenix: Kat ... you need to get more people to Tag here lol
Fenix: Wow ... I can still see my last post ... sad people ... sad.
Fenix: Come on people! post >.> Hello sarah XD *bows* hmm i wonder what everyone is doing?
Fenix: Come on people! post >.> Hello sarah XD *bows* hmm i wonder what everyone is doing?
Fenix: Ana-chan!! XD you've tagged!
sarah: im bored. so i decided to drop by and tag your journal. weeet! one more week to go!
anaid: wwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fenix: *snickers*
Pyra : *falls over* o_O;
sarah: tag you're it!!!!!! ^-^! hehe
Pyra: I've been stood up T_T *goes into a corner and sulks*
Fenix: eh? why no posts people?
Fenix: mwahaha!
Pyra: mmph!!
Fenix: *tackles Pyra and hold her mouth closed* er, ignore what my counterpart said XD ... is it Sofi that likes it Kat?
Pyra: Bleh, play Final Fantasy Online instead =D
Kat: Erm... World of Warcraft, eh, Fenix? One of my other friends likes that game, too.
Fenix: Grrr ... i need to overhaul my computer to be able to play World of Warcraft ...
daryl: fine use of space and time here. you have a good life.
Kat: Thank you..
Pyra: =D yeah. No prob. Youre site is cool anyways
Kat: Omigawd, Pyra, you put a link to my site on yours! I feel so loved! I really have to put a link to sites now. I never really had any other friends who have their own sites other than journals. Yesh well, later. It's like... too early in the morning right now. I need sleep.
Kat: Hey, my board's filling up again. Whaddaya know. Welcome back everyone.
Pyra: woot, my site is back up since I stupidly deleted my last one!
Fenix: Yay! Our computer is running somewhat again!
Kat: Kitz you crazy punk monkey. *ruffles hair*
Kitz: O yea second tag also made by the man!
KITZ: FIRST TAG FOR TEH MAN!!! OO YEA!!!!!!!!!!

Please type in the four characters shown in the black box.

Wednesday, June 22nd 2005

7:45 PM

Neo-Pagan?

  • Disposition:
  • Composition: Simple & Clean

Neo-Pagans are a community of faiths bringing ancient Pagan and magickal traditions to the modern age--including mostly Wicca but also Druidism, Asatru, Shamanism, neo-Native American, and more. Neo-Pagan is an umbrella term for various and diverse beliefs with many elements in common. Some Neo-Pagans find no incongruence practicing Neo-Paganism along with adherence to another faith, such as Christianity or Judaism.

 

Belief in Deity
Some believe in a Supreme Being. Many believe in God and Goddess--a duality. Many believe there are countless spirit beings, gods and goddesses, in the cosmos and within all of nature--God is all and within all; all are one God. The Great Mother Earth, or Mother Nature, is highly worshipped. Divinity is immanent and may become manifest within anyone at any time through various methods.

 

Incarnations
No human incarnations are worshipped in particular, as all of nature and the universe are considered embodiments of God and Goddess, or of gods and goddesses, worthy of respect, reverence, or worship.

 

Origin of Universe and Life
Generally, there is no conflict between observations revealed through science and Neo-Pagan beliefs on origins of the physical universe and of man. Many believe in a supreme intelligence that created a duality of God/Goddess who then created a spirit world of gods and goddesses as well as all of the universe and nature.

 

After Death
Many believe in reincarnation after some rest and recovery in the "Otherworld." There is generally no concept of hell as a place of punishment, but some believe wrongdoing can trap the soul in state of suffering after death. Some (Wicca) believe the soul joins their dead ancestors who watch over and protect their family. Some believe that life energy continues in some, if unknown, form. Some believe in various spiritual resting places. Many say we don't or can't know what happens after death.

 

Why Evil?
***"Evil" is imbalance. Most believe there is no evil but rather that people sometimes make mistakes. Wrongdoing results when we forget we are one with the universal spirit.***

 

Salvation
The concept of "salvation" is essentially irrelevant; rather the belief that people can attain spiritual balance and harmony with each other and nature. The path includes group ceremonies, dances, songs/chants, prayers, meditation, trance, altered states of consciousness, the metaphysical, magic, invoking or evoking deities or spirits, Tantric practices. Intercessors are commonly used: psychics, seers, shamans, tarot, Oui-Ja board. Ethical choices are influenced by a belief that one is rewarded or punished within this or after this lifetime for one's choices and an ethical code to do no harm.

 

Undeserved Suffering
Most do not believe in Satan or any spirit being as the cause of suffering. Some believe in a karma-like principle, that choosing to live a life of wrongdoing and pain will naturally result in suffering in this or later lifetimes. Many view suffering as a result of spiritual imbalance in one's life or on the planet or in the universe. The focus is generally on healing suffering rather than answering definitively why it exists.

 

Contemporary Issues
Abortion is not condemned, as there is no official doctrine; beliefs about abortion range the full spectrum. ***Views on divorce, homosexuality, and gender equality are generally very supportive of human differences, equality, and personal choice.*** Many believe that involvement in community action, especially regarding environmental concerns, is integral to the belief in human interdependence and worship of the Earth Mother.

 

11 Have Become Heroes / Become a Hero:

Wednesday, May 18th 2005

8:43 PM

VAMPIRE KAT!!

  • Disposition:
  • Composition: Nas Ne Dagoniat

This. Has got to be. Lyke. Whoah, the coolest thing I have ever done.

12 Have Become Heroes / Become a Hero:

Monday, May 16th 2005

6:10 PM

Yearbook Day

  • Disposition:
  • Composition: So Damn Beautiful

Got mai yearbook today! Look, watch me grow up!

The only difference I can see is. My baby chin flab is gone! And my hair, too!

12 Have Become Heroes / Become a Hero:

Friday, May 13th 2005

7:29 PM

1st Place!? MUA!?

  • Disposition:
  • Composition: Sky.fm Radio

Mum says she would have taken me out for a drink if I was 21.

I was the only one there who wasn't part of Video Tech. Man, Eastwood took it all. E.J. and Howard and Jared's film- it was all so awesome. We took first in almost everything. We got the two awesome trophies.

I wasn't sure if I was going to get an award tonight, but when the slide show thingy came up and showed mine...man it felt really good. I had to keep telling Mom to "shh" during it because she kept saying how beautiful it was.

So I got this trophy that's like a foot and a half tall. I got two actually but one's for Mr. McClain. It feels good.

0 Have Become Heroes / Become a Hero:

Thursday, May 12th 2005

3:08 PM

Liver - There's No Purpose To This Title

  • Disposition:
  • Composition: Twisted Nerve - Kill Bill

I want to write my story. I want to write about Kaiziea’s voice telling Kat about everything she knows, now that she is in the afterlife, how it is right everything is right and those translucent bodies meld together to create one soul seconds before they both die. I found an old sketchbook, and there was an assignment…and I wrote inside a drawing, “Remember the one who died to save you, remember her and what she said."

There’s a difference between being religious and being spiritual. There’s a difference between knowledge and wisdom.

Chrissy, if you read this, I’d like to talk to you more about past lives. I had another strange dream that I think may have to do with it. You know how you said there are new souls and old souls, and that you were an old soul? I think I am too. I guess you already inferred that.

I think there are still a lot of things I don’t know…but I want to make sure I find things out on my own. The same way that I dove into my own meaning of life instead of asking others. I don’t care what other people think the meaning of life is. I only care about my own. I really do believe there is no solid, one, real meaning of life. I think everyone has to find their own. It all depends on what you believe. It all depends on how you view life. An atheist would say, “To reproduce.” a Christian might say, “To be one with God.” Everyone has their own meaning. Everyone does. And mine is not the same as everyone else’s. No one can tell me what to believe in or how to live my life. It’s up to me to find that out on my own. I don’t mean that as a “freakin’ leave me alone, I dun need your help.” I mean it as…sometimes I need to do things alone.

What I’m going through now is one of those things. I don’t need my friends telling me what they think I should do or anyone telling me what I am doing is right or wrong. Because it only matters to two people: her and I.

When all of this is over and we are older it will seem like some big joke or something we can laugh at or recall…but when you’re living through it at the moment it really isn’t anything close to a laughing matter.

Okay, I shall type the introduction thing to my book, that comes right before the very beginning of the story and before Kiarra’s memories. I like writing these long entries, they sum up everything.

--

They’re just dreams.

Underestimation. They are memories, collecting inside of me, reflecting off one another as they attempt to assemble a message for me—tell me a story. My story, our story.

It’s me. I’m trapped inside of myself desperately trying to make the connection. A story. I can feel it unraveling, I can hear it whispering to me while I sleep. It’s there, and it’s waiting to come out. This story needs to be told. It needs to be heard.

It’s about time.

-Aija Kuroudo

Kiarra
Flashing silver currents billowed past a young Aqua Adunis as she waded through an icy stream, following her mother's screaming voice.

"Cepheus, Cepheus!" Kiarra could hear her shrieking in an echoing cry, over and over again, each scream interrupted by a sudden gasp and the sickening sound of flesh getting bludgeoned.

"Mother!" she cried back, but she was turned around and dizzied as fellow Aqua Adunis swept past her, terrified, chloro streaming down their faces and dampening their fur.

Silver pools of metallic liquid materialized all around her in flat, sticky lakes-- twisted horns and leathery bodies rose from the puddles, mangled and disfigured. Snapping jaws dissolved into frothy mixtures of blood and saliva, brown-red eyes dripped with the metallic liquid that was now flooding Kiarra's icy world...her home.

The chloro flowing within her veins froze at the sound of the shadow beings' deafening screams...she trembled and spun, again, in the direction of her pleading mother.

"Mother!!!" Kiarra screamed again. Her mother's body swam into view, dark beings pinning her to an icy boulder, flashing blades and chains as they bore down on her, baring their teeth and laughing wickedly.

"Katana! Katana!!" the voice melted into the suffocating liquid, her father-figure...he shrank beneath the thundering blows he received from the shadows.

"Kiarra!" he yelled. She couldn't tell if it was a plea for help or a warning. She screamed in a mixture of rage and agony:

"Leave them alone! Don't touch them! Stop! Stop it!! Leave them alone!!!"

A clawed, muscled arm silenced her, and she was sent tumbling to the frosty ground.
1 Have Become Heroes / Become a Hero:

Wednesday, May 11th 2005

10:25 PM

Aftermath

  • Disposition:
  • Composition: Justify My Love

I can’t say you’re wrong, I can’t say you’re right. I used to think he and I were infinite and would always love each other, I was wrong. You say I could be wrong about this but if I start every relationship thinking it will end the same as the one before, how will I ever find out if this person is the one or not, if I never give us the chance?

Everything happens for a reason. This shouldn’t be the only event excluded from that saying. The friendship should be and is valued…when did I find out it was more than a friendship? When I wanted to hold her longer than for just a brief hello or goodbye…when I wanted to be able to hold her hand in mine and turn it over and over examining every inch of it and admiring it…was it when I saw something more than friendship in her eyes…? I even think it was before I even knew what she looked like, I told Kitz that I felt like I had already known her soul…and that I loved her. I meant it in a friendly way back then but now. But now, it’s different.

And I know a lot of teenage girls go through this, that there are phases…but what if this isn’t a phase? There is always a possibility. There’s always something, no one ever knows anything for sure.

Innocence, innocence, innocence…at least I don’t have to worry about a boy trying to get into my pants. It feels pure. It feels clean. It feels safe. It feels like what love should feel like.

14 Have Become Heroes / Become a Hero: